What a Difference a Year Makes

Wow. To say “blink and you’ll miss it” is an understatement.

It’s been a bit over a year, and to say my life has changed would be an understatement – and all for the better! My last year in bullets:

  • My divorce was finally finalized after nearly 2 years of back and forth with the X
  • Got down to my lowest weight ever…within 1 pound of having 100 pounds lost!
  • Met an amazing man, fell in love, got engaged…I’m getting married this month!
  • Put on about 20 pounds of “happy weight”…which I’m finally starting to see come back down
  • Changed my daughter’s day care, went through lots of up and downs with her (more on that later)
  • X got married to the chick he left me for. Which is fine, we are at a good place now and strive to put our daughter first
  • After our wedding (and honeymoon vacation – squee!!) we’ll start saving to buy a house together next year.

I mean, wow. This blog was created to be a daily log for me…of course I think the pressure of having a daily log just turned me off. Well, that plus like a month after I started it, my now ex-husband kinda walked out on me and my kid…and so any time I came back, for a long time after that, it was kind of painful. This blog has seen tiny snippets of pain, hope, more pain…long silences…and now, infinite joy! I really do want to work on filling in those gaps.

And the #1 reason it was created, of course, was to record the success of my losing weight! Somehow through this crazy storm, I DID manage to do that. And I want to keep it going…

Do I really think I have the time/dedication/passion to start this blog back up again? I don’t know. My next post might be another year from now…but let’s see what happens. šŸ™‚

Today, life is good.

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I’m still here, my dear

Wow. Six months. I’m a horrid blogger! I can at least say that I’ve had good excuses! In six month’s, I’ve

  • Told my old job to bite me when they tried to force me in to Sales… No offense to anyone who works in sales, lets just say I have good reasons for my biases.
  • Moved back “home” to the DFW Metroplex. I grabbed my 2 year old and we moved in with my mom while I tried to figure out what to do. I had already started applying for jobs back last December, as I could sense that my old job and I were heading in two different directions
  • Found a job! Yay! One month to the day of my last day at old job, I started a new job. I’ve been here for nearly 2 months, and so far it’s been amazing. I feel challenged, rewarded, and I’m learning so much.
  • I found a place to rent, and got the girl in to a new day care. I’m feeling slightly stressed as I’ve got a whole new set of bills, but so far I’m cautiously optimistic, and the house and landlord are both amazing.
  • I put things in motion with filing. Yep, the Big D is in my future. The X and I continue to oscillate between being nice and evil toward each other. I hope we can find a happy medium for Rea’s sake.
  • I haven’t gained weight!! This is huge. I haven’t lost, unfortunately, but the fact that I haven’t gained anything is a wonderful victory, considering the amount of stress I’ve been under.

Right now there’s both cupcakes and a tres leche cake in the breakroom…and I haven’t had any of either. It’s a daily battle right now, as my eating habits have definitely slacked.

But I’m still here, my dear. I aim to become a blogging fool by the end of the year.

And I’m such a poet. šŸ˜‰

Like a Boss

This weekend was quick and uneventful – a nice combination when I had both planned no events and was single-momming my 22 month old. I started off on Friday night with a new recipe. I decided to try Mushroom Kale Lasagna Rolls, and used this recipe from SkinnyTaste. I won’t bore you with step by step details, as I’m not a cooking blog, but needless to say it ended up being not too hard to make (though it dirtied more dishes than I expected!), and delicious! The recipe makes 10 rolls, and so I’ve got leftovers to last during the week!

It is so green, but so good!

It is so green, but so good!

Saturday I Zumba’d at a class at my college Alma Matter, taught by a wonderful friend, Ruthie, who has an inspiring story of her own! I have been so surprised by Zumba. I am able to follow the moves fairly easily, and I am constantly surprised by how much easier it is to keep up and move my body now that there’s 70 pounds gone from it. I talked to Ruthie after and told her that though I took ballet for 10 years growing up (hence the ease of following the moves), I don’t think I ever truly enjoyed it. I was always the biggest girl in the class, and constantly spent my time looking in those damn mirrors comparing myself to the other girls. For anyone who’s never taken ballet or other dance class…one half of the entire room is made of mirrors…so you can constantly check your body positions, etc. For me, it was a constant and consistent reminder of how big I was – and of course now I look back and can say I wasn’t even that big!

But now. Now that I’m older and (ha!) wiser and have lived…and have developed a lot of self esteem, I could care less what I look like while dancing at Zumba…and I’m having so much FUN! I can keep up with the instructor, I can think about the music and the movement and just enjoy it! And I do.

Sunday started off a little rough. I had woken up at around 5:50am on Saturday, and cursed as I desperately tried to fall back asleep, wasting all those precious minutes as Reagan kept sleeping until nearly 7:30am! On Sunday, I was in a dead tired sleep…and of course she then decides to wake up at 5:50am.

And she woke up with plenty of energy.

And she woke up with plenty of energy.

After a fun-filled morning of me trying to wake up while she destroyed the living room, we both took naps (thank goodness!), and then afterwards I took her on a walk to the park. The park is right next to our apartment, so we were able to walk straight from our front door, which was nice. It was really windy, but we had a lot of fun!

Finding bottle caps

Finding bottle caps

Feeding these...bird things

Feeding these…bird things

Blowing bubbles...or attempting to.

Blowing bubbles…or attempting to.

Happy Face!

Happy Face!

Discovering that bridges cover water.

Discovering that bridges cover water.

Drinking juice - like a Boss!

Drinking juice – like a Boss!

I love taking these walks with her and re-discovering the world through her eyes. Even though it’s annoying to keep her away from the water the whole time, and even though she stood on that silly bridge for 20 minutes longer than I would have liked and kept telling me there was water underneath us…I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Oh and my daughter’s hair is crazy, in case you can’t tell. I think it might turn out to be curly…and I have no experience in that arena…add to that the fact that she hates having her hair or face messed with, and it is a constant battle in which she is the victor 99% of the time.

Besides…I say the longer you can go without fussing with hair or wearing shoes…go for it!

So today was back to the grind, but I did make it to the gym for a lunchtime workout!

Proof of my elliptical exploits!

Proof of my elliptical exploits!

So there is my weekend/Monday recap. How was your weekend? What workouts have you discovered that you actually ENJOY, rather than endure?

A Week in the New Year

Well 2013 is over – THANK GOD!

Last year I buried my father when he passed away suddenly, found out my marriage was not strong enough to withstand temptation, and found that I had to start over mentally, financially…everything. But there were some good things.

  • I found out that I am 10 million times stronger than I thought I was
  • I grew stronger in my relationships to my daughter and my family
  • I found a voice of my own
  • I got a tattoo!
  • I lost over 60 pounds
December 2012 vs December 2013

December 2012 vs December 2013

Unfortunately things in marriage-land aren’t going so great. After seeing that as of right now my husband is either unwilling or incapable of wanting to work on our relationship, and that he wanted to continue to blame me for his parts to play in the whole thing, I had to ask him to leave.

To his credit he does claim that he needs to work on himself and such. I am trying to be as non-pessimistic as possible about that. Technically I guess this is a separation, I don’t know what the end-game is, and in this moment, I don’t know what I want it to be anymore.

My job is going in a different direction, and I am being asked to do some different tasks than I previously did on top of my regular duties. I am a bit terrified, but also not NOT excited about it either. Again, we’ll see what happens.

The new year…we’re a little over a week in, and I am cautiously optimistic. I will never again in my life say that things can’t get worse, so I won’t curse my 2014 with such nonsense…but I will say I hope with all my might that they are drastically better this year.

Bring it. But please bring it with happiness and kitties and flowers!

Bring it. But please bring it with happiness and kitties and flowers!

Ring Sizer

Today I achieved a NSV.

That’s a Non-Scale Victory, for the weight-loss club uninitiated. A victory that comes without it being tied to a number on a scale. I knew it was coming, and I was very excited…and today, it happened!

ring with sizer

I had to put a sizer on my wedding ring!

I know most ladies probably wouldn’t be too terribly happy with that, but to me it represents an awesome milestone!

When I started losing weight in 2011, I remember right around the time I hit 30 pounds lost, I had to put on a ring sizer because my wedding ring would just spin around my finger all day. I lost another 30 pounds after that, and that’s when I got pregnant. I gained 30 pounds with Reagan, and even so I still wore my ring with the sizer. It wasn’t until AFTER I had Rea and continued to gain weight that I eventually had to take it off. After weighing myself this morning I realized that I’m finally down to where I was my highest during pregnancy.

Now I just have to lose that next 30 to get to my pre-pregnancy weight…which includes a 1 as its first digit. It’s so ironic…I was focusing on losing weight to have a baby, and the VERY DAY I finally saw a 1 as the first digit on the scale is the same exact day that I also saw a positive pregnancy test later that afternoon. It’s such a surreal fact.

So, like I said, most ladies may find having to where a ring-sizer annoying (because, let’s face it, as far as fashion goes it IS kind of annoying), but I will where it with pride! šŸ˜€

Anyone else out there experience any NSVs lately?