Seventy

If you turn the way-back machine to 2011, I lost 60 pounds.

I did it by pretty much being an idiot…stupid restrictive eating and liquid diets and over-exercising. I became totally obsessed. It worked really well at the time…it was a time in my life where I needed something to be obsessed about for a while, and it was the first thing that ever had even “worked” for me.

I lost 60 pounds in 6 months…and promptly became pregnant!

And then I gained back 30 pounds…and then had the most beautiful baby on the planet…but then gained another 30 pounds.

One day reality hit me like a biotch in the face. That was the day I (again) saw a very scary number on the scale.

262.2

That was my starting weight in 2011 when I lost stupid weight. I had gone all the way back. To the 10th of a pound, I had gone back.

Since then, I’ve developed some really awesome habits on this latest weight loss journey. It wasn’t about being fast, it was about making changes that I knew I could live with all my life. I have basically cut out all sweets and sugary drinks, but I still have a soda every once in awhile, because you know what? I don’t want to give them up for all of time. I just have to learn to moderate…that is something I have to live with for all of time.

So, the weight came back off, slowly, but steadily and I wasn’t starving myself and developing obsessive habits this time. It took me a year verses 6 months this time, but I was happy with the progress…not to mention I had some giant personal hurdles that should have sent me back to the loving arms of food in a heartbeat. I persevered. But still, there was that magical number hanging over my head…60.

Now don’t misunderstand, I’ve lost over 60 pounds…I’ve had that beat since October or so. BUT, for some reason, I still wanted, yearned to reach that next decade of weight loss…so that I could…I don’t know…FOR REAL be passed where I had gone in 2011.

This morning, I saw a magical number on the scale…down to the 10th of a pound.

192.2

Today I’ve reached 70 pounds lost…exactly! I wish I had taken a picture of it, but I think I was too busy doing a little happy dance in my bathroom.

2011…bad habits…obsessive behavior…stupid marriage issues…turning to food (or wine) for coping…jeez, ALL of 2013… you all can bite me! I so own you.

This is my mean face…or an attempt at one. Do you feel intimidated yet?

A Week in the New Year

Well 2013 is over – THANK GOD!

Last year I buried my father when he passed away suddenly, found out my marriage was not strong enough to withstand temptation, and found that I had to start over mentally, financially…everything. But there were some good things.

• I found out that I am 10 million times stronger than I thought I was
• I grew stronger in my relationships to my daughter and my family
• I found a voice of my own
• I got a tattoo!
• I lost over 60 pounds

December 2012 vs December 2013

Unfortunately things in marriage-land aren’t going so great. After seeing that as of right now my husband is either unwilling or incapable of wanting to work on our relationship, and that he wanted to continue to blame me for his parts to play in the whole thing, I had to ask him to leave.

To his credit he does claim that he needs to work on himself and such. I am trying to be as non-pessimistic as possible about that. Technically I guess this is a separation, I don’t know what the end-game is, and in this moment, I don’t know what I want it to be anymore.

My job is going in a different direction, and I am being asked to do some different tasks than I previously did on top of my regular duties. I am a bit terrified, but also not NOT excited about it either. Again, we’ll see what happens.

The new year…we’re a little over a week in, and I am cautiously optimistic. I will never again in my life say that things can’t get worse, so I won’t curse my 2014 with such nonsense…but I will say I hope with all my might that they are drastically better this year.

Bring it. But please bring it with happiness and kitties and flowers!

The I Don’t Wannas

See, my problem is that I don’t want to write right now.

There’s just so much going on my life. Trying to fix a marriage, trying to somehow maintain a weightloss success (read: keep the scale moving in the right direction rather than be stuck at this stupid plateau), and all while keeping up with a 22-month old who thinks she’s invincible.

How do daily bloggers do this??

Sometimes I wish my life wasn’t so screwed up all the time. When all my peers are “making it,” and enjoying the fruits of their labors, I am fighting to stay afloat. Why am I working so hard to start over a relationship where I’m the only one who seems to want to fight for it?

Life just feels so heavy right now. I just want to take a good long nap and wake up next June, someone can tell me if it all worked out or not.

That’s what daily blogging would look like for me right now, and how depressing is that?

Week 1, Day 2

Ok, the word of the day is officially SORE!

I went back today to do the second day of my HIIT/Strength Training program, and I am definitely feeling it! I did up my HIIT fast speed to 6.5, and that was definitely a LOT harder. By the end of 14 minutes, I was panting and my lungs were burning. It was actually a good feeling, I felt like I was pushing myself again. I can’t believe that I feel like I worked harder running basically only 1 mile than I do when I run 3.25 or more!

After that, I did Day 2 of Week 1 of the LiveFit program (I won’t bore you with the details, but here’s a link if you’re so inclined). I definitely felt more confident today in the weight room. There were plenty of beefy guys doing there thing, but I just did my own thing too. I workout at Planet Fitness, and they have that whole “Lug Alert” thing… where they discourage people from being jerks in a weight room, so I feel pretty comfortable about it. Plus, there were two other girls in there today, so that was nice! I only felt really confused at one point, because one of the exercises called for a piece of equipment the gym doesn’t have (a preacher’s curl bench – I know, it sounds weird), so I spend about 2 minutes walking around like a loon in the weight room area to find this mysterious bench thing. I finally figured the didn’t have it, so I just did that workout on the machine that does the same thing in the circuit area.

I definitely feel today’s workout already…my arms were already sore, and now they are kinda pounding! Brad has to be out of town tonight, and I wish he wasn’t, because wrangling our wiggle worm of a daughter with sore arms and back is going to be tough!

She looks sweet and innocent…don’t be fooled!

I have to run, as it is time to go and pick up the wiggle worm I was just talking about. Have a great weekend! My goal is at least one workout over the weekend – wish me luck! What are your weekend plans? 😉

Trying Something New

This weekend went by super-duper fast, and most of the week already too!

Brad had to work on Saturday morning, so I made it up to the YMCA with Rea in tow and hopped on the treadmill after dropping her off in their little day care area. I decided to re-try the workout I did on Friday, with the goal of NO walk breaks!

I won’t say that it felt any easier this time…but it definitely felt like it went by faster! I ended up completing the run with no walk breaks! I did slow my pace down a couple of times (from 5.0 to 4.5), but I ended up running the whole thing!

Then, on Monday I saw the doctor to ask about my back pain. He told me that running might not be the best right now…because not only is it possible that it’s slowing down my weight loss, but that it might just be too hard on my body until I lose more weight. I felt a bit derailed, because I have particular goals I want to hit, and it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I kind of brushed him off, because I’ve spent a lot of time and energy, and hey, I’ve already lost a ton of weight doing it MY way.

And then, the next day, I saw this article on Facebook. It explained some of the reasons why running may not help you lose weight as quickly as the same amount of effort with different exercises can. It was like someone was trying to tell me something here. A Facebook weight loss support group that I’m in was talking about the article, and through talking with another woman on there, I began to consider trying some different approaches to exercising for a while, just to shock my body.

Although, I DID have a reason to do a happy dance that same day, because, this:

Yes, that’s a ONE there!

Yes, by the skin of my teeth I reached ONEderland! It was really exciting to see, and with it I one the first Jillian Michael Dietbet (which is why there’s a card with a random word on it, lol!). Of course I had to drink a ton of water and eat really lightly the day before to get there, but it was so nice to see. My weight has been fluctuating a lot from day to day though, like today, it’s back up to 201.8.

Yet another reason that I wanted to put a kick-starter back in to my weight loss. It seems that over the last 3 months, I’ve been struggling to lose this latest 10 pounds. I mean, I have been getting stronger and healthier in the gym, but come on, I still have about 50 pounds to go here!

So, after doing some reading and looking around, I’ve decided to change things up a bit. Instead of focusing my gym time on just running, I’m going to mix up some HIIT training (High Intensity Interval Training) with free weight exercises.

I’m more than a little bit intimidated by the free weight portion of this. I am comfortable on machines…my gym even has a separate little room for the machine circuit, where I don’t have to feel stupid about what I’m doing…the machines lay it all out there for you. But when you have a bench and a rack of weights…and not a few meathead boys grunting all around you, it’s slightly more intimidating. I promise that I would not have step foot in that area 60 pounds ago.

Yesterday was my first day, and so I found this program for beginner level HIIT training (the link is to my pin on pinterest, I figured that might be helpful if you want to pin it yourself). Week 1-2 consists of 15 seconds of hard running, followed by 60 seconds of walking or slow jogging. It wasn’t too hard, until the last few intervals, and watching the clock to change speeds made the 14 minutes fly by! I actually really enjoyed the change up of method there, since my runs lately seemed SO boring. I set the 15 second fast intervals to a speed of 6.0 on the treadmill (10 minute mile pace), and the 60 second slow intervals to a 4.5 jogging speed. I was really surprised at how easy I was able to do these. In fact, I think next time I’ll do 6.5 and 4.5, since the fast intervals are only 15 seconds.

Next came the awkward part, I found this beginner level free weights program, and decided to give it a try (it’s all free by the way, the image there makes it look like you have to sign up to use it). Yesterday’s program (week 1, day 1), consisted of work on the chest and triceps, and believe me I am FEELING it today. It didn’t take me too long to do the workouts, the one that I was mostly confused on was one where I had to move a bench between two of the machines and figure out how to place everything…but each exercise has a video that shows you what to do. At first I felt silly having to stop and look at my phone to see what to do – but then I saw a couple of guys looking at their phones too…and even if they weren’t looking at instructions, I told myself that they were, haha!

All in all, I was really happy with the change up. It took just as much time to do the HIIT and the 6 strength training moves as running for 45 minutes, plus I know I felt like I was sweating even MORE with these exercises. So, we’ll see. The strength training program calls for 4 days a week in the gym (at least in phase one), so I will be going in just as much as I try to now. But I think I also want to keep a “long run” day of at least 3 miles once a week. I’m not sure if I’ll still hit my 33:xx 5k by 33 (only 23 days until my birthday!), but I might just lose 10 pounds in 1 month vs 3 months, and to me that’s worth it! 🙂

Well this turned in to a rambling post…but I was making up for 5 days or so! 😉

A Hard Run

I’m overall happy with today’s workout, but trying not to be dissapointed at the same time.

Today’s workout called for a 5 minute warmup and cool down, with a 35 minute run at “normal pace.” I was both looking forward to and dreading it. I was excited, because Wednesday’s run went so well…well, afterwards, anyway – but it was also running for 35 minutes straight, which I haven’t been able to do in several weeks. It turns out I still can’t.

I took my iPad with me today, and found out that my gym does indeed have free WiFi! Which, I should have prepared ahead of time, because then I spent way too much time looking around on Netflix looking for a show to watch. My lunch breaks are slightly flexible, but I hate taking too much time away, so I was getting antsy. I finally setting on a show called Dollhouse. It’s by Joss Whedon, so I knew it had to be worth checking out at least!

The first part of the run I was feeling good. The show was pretty interesting, though looking down at the iPad on the treadmill wasn’t as comfortable as if it had been straight ahead. I kept wanting to raise my head and just listen to the show, so even though I think this will work for awhile, I still feel like it didn’t really keep my mind occupied enough to “forget” I was running, but who knows if that’s even possible!

I was able to run without stopping to walk for 18 minutes and some change, and then finally I had to walk for 1 minute. I still don’t know exactly what my hangup is, if it’s more mental or physical…I think my legs were fine and I feel as though my breathing was ok…I just felt like I had to slow down. I walked for a minute, ran again for 2 minutes, and then had to walk to 2 minutes. By this time, there was 7 or 8 minutes left of the run I think. I put the speed back up, and told myself that I could slow the run if I needed, but I  couldn’t walk. I think I spent about 30 seconds at a slower speed in there, but for the most part I maintained a 5.0 speed (12mph) the whole time. It wasn’t my prettiest run, but I did it.

Done!

Again, not my best, but definitely not my worst run in the world. I am trying not to be upset about the walk break, and I definitely didn’t get any H of a Runner’s High either! But, it’s done. It’s also Friday, which means the weekend is almost here! Brad has to work tomorrow, so I think I’ll take Reagan to the YMCA with me in the morning and either run or do some other type of cardio and some strength training.

My back has been hurting pretty consistently lately, and especially now while I run I start to have a pain in the top center of my back. I made an appointment with my doctor for Monday. I have a feeling it’s going to be related to the fact that I’m a bit, er, well-endowed shall we say. But we shall see!

I Think I Found My “H”

It’s Thursday, and that means it’s almost Friday!

Yesterday’s workout was indeed hard, but I did it! Right now I’m using an app called 5k Forever to train with, because I already am able to “run” a 5k distance. This app is designed to help you get faster. My lofty goal right now is to be able to run a 5k in anything under 34 minutes…it’s my 33 by 33 goal, since I turn 33 soon. Unfortunately by “soon” I mean one month from today. I don’t know if I will make it, only because right now by my calculations my fastest 5k time is 37 minutes and some change. But, I don’t feel discouraged, it’s just a goal, it’s not something I’ll want to cry about or anything if I don’t hit it ON my birthday. I know that I’ve done the best I can with my hip issues, etc putting me out of commission a couple of times this year.

So anyway, back to yesterday. Like I said, I’m using the 5k Forever app, and I’ve really enjoyed it so far. Yesterday I was on week 5, day 2, which is what I would describe as a “long interval” day (I don’t know much about running and terminology, so if anyone out there knows better just correct me!). The run consisted of 15 minutes at “normal pace” (which for me is a 5.0 on the treadmill, which is supposedly 12mph), 8 minutes at “slightly faster” (which is 5.4 on the treadmill, about…11.6mph?), and then 10 minutes at “normal pace” again.

It was SO HARD. I’m in that stage now where running is a lot more mental than physical. First off, I got about 6 minutes in to the run, and then had to go to the bathroom. It’s the first time I’ve felt the need to go in the middle of a workout enough to actually stop the treadmill and go, usually I’m able to wait. But I was able to jump right back on and continue afterwards (whereas before I might have talked myself out of it and just walked or jogged). I finished my 15 minutes out, then ran the faster 8 minutes…and then I had to walk for a minute. I’m still not great at “recovering” from intervals where I go from a fast run to a slower run (as opposed to a fast run to a walk), but I’m working on that. But after the minute walk break, I went back in to running at “normal pace,” though I slowed the normal pace to around 4.8 for the first couple of minutes there as well. Once the 10 minute interval was over, I tacked on an extra minute of running to make up for the minute of walking I took.

The whole time I was running, I wanted to stop…I couldn’t find anything to keep me distracted…I was listening to Jillian Micheal’s podcast, and though I like it, it just wasn’t keeping my mind off of the self-torture I was doing. Nothing on the TVs was interesting, staring off out the window wasn’t helping. This is the hardest part of running for me…my body wasn’t hurting enough to want to stop, I was breathing ok (for the most part), I just…felt like I “couldn’t do it!” Someone told me they think my gym has free wi-fi, so I might take my iPad next time and try to watch a show on Netflix. Once it’s cooler outside (I live in Texas), I want to try and start running outside more.

BUT, once it was done…I was elated! I did it! I was able to sustain those paces – I was worried about my “normal” pace because I had recently had to take time off from running because my hip was hurting, not to mention the “slightly faster” pace…but I was able to jump right back in! I was grinning like an idiot afterwards and the whole way to the showers, I even stopped to take a photo like a nerd:

Yes, I am one of those…

As I was in the shower, I felt so accomplished and just…goofy happy. I mean, it was only a silly little training run, and I had to stop the treadmill in there, so I didn’t even know how far I went in the total time, etc…but I just…felt happy. I got to thinking that maybe this is a little tiny whisper of what a…”runner’s high” feels like? If so, I think I found the H in runner’s high, lol!

Today is a rest day, but I’m trying to watch my food intake a lot for the next few days, one of my DietBets ends this weekend, and I am worried I won’t make my goal!

Pumpkins

Ugh.

I’m up 5 pounds this week, 1 pound from yesterday.

As a daily weigher, I am both blessed and cursed to know (and not hide from) where I am in my weight loss journey each and every day. Most days I am satisfied. Today I am struggling with my brain. On the one hand, I know that my eating has been pretty good this week, my exercise has been on point so far, etc etc. So I know logically that the gain has to be a mixture of water retention, bloating from hormones, etc. But seeing that number on the scale still brings all the discouragement and fears that come with being a lifetime fat girl.

Luckily, logic is winner these days (usually), and I just gave the scale the finger, got dressed for work and fixed a smoothie. I just made up a recipe today, spinach, a banana, frozen pineapple/mango blend, frozen berry blend, and almond milk. It’s pretty good, and it felt good to be back on “plan” today. Last night was my monthly girls’ night. Each month, one of the girls in my group of friends hosts a get-together at her house and chooses a theme. Each girl who comes brings something to eat or drink based on that night’s theme. Last night was pumpkin, and the selections were SO good. I had watched what I ate all day yesterday just so I could indulge a little:

SO Good!

Don’t worry, I only ate about half of what was on that plate. My eyes are still way bigger than my stomach when it comes to putting “splurge” food on a plate…I am thankful that I’m slowly becoming more mindful of when I am full, and able to stop myself before sitting there and stuffing my face just because something tastes “so good.”

So, I guess the pound gain over yesterday’s weight should have been expected, IF yesterday’s weight wasn’t already higher than normal. I was expecting a maintenance of weight. So, it was hard not to be dissapointed…but I just let myself be dissapointed for a few minutes, and then moved on. Today is a workout day. I workout on my lunch breaks three days a week (well, I try to), and I am NOT feeling it today. Probably a mixture of the bad food I ate last night, and the whole “what’s the point” voice that’s trying to attack my brain right now.

It’s days like this I KNOW I need to go. In fact, I’m going to leave in about 5 minutes! Because, this:

Word.

Wish me luck, today’s workout is going to be hard…

 

Back.

Well, I am back so to speak. Please know there were very real, very hard, and very personal reasons for the hiatus. I won’t go in to them here (yet, maybe someday), but just know that through all the insanity that has been my life over the last 6 months, I somehow managed to keep myself on track as far as eating, exercising goes. This has to be one of my greatest personal achievements yet.

I am currently down 62 pounds. I am kissing at the fingertips of Onederland, and hopefully within the next week I’ll be there!

I’ve finished my Couch to 5k training, and now I’m working on getting faster. My lofty goal is to be able to run a 5k in 33:XX by the time I’m 33 (November 17th)…unfortunately a couple of flare up of my hip hurting has kept me from running a couple of weeks here and there, and my current fastest time for a 5k is 39:30. So…it’s not looking so great, but I’m still pushing as hard as I’m able to try and make it! Even 33:59 would do it! 😉

Right now I’m trying to run at least 3 times a week. I hit that PR time yesterday, so today is an off day. My runs are happening at the gym on the treadmill, since I’m using my lunch breaks to exercise at the moment. I’m hoping to be able to start running outside once it’s colder, but that would most likely mean me getting up and going before work…which involves words like “5am.” These aren’t words I usually associate with any kind of reality I’m involved with. 😉

So that is my update. It’s nothing huge or amazing, and a lot is left unsaid, but it is the first step to get me back in to the blogging world, which I think will be something handy as I continue my journey. I’m halfway to the finish line, still a long weigh to go (pun intended).

Tony Horton vs. Mother Nature

A few years ago while I was losing weight before getting preggo, I was running (well, old-lady-shuffling, I don’t think I could call my speed a run), and I broke my foot.

Yep. Broken. Right there!

It was just a stress fracture – but it was enough to put me in a boot for 6 weeks or so. I was so mad, I was on great track with my weight loss and then I was booted!? Well, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise…it helped me rekindle my love of swimming, which I’ll go in to later. But it also introduced me to Tony Horton.

Well, his workout DVD’s anyway.

I don’t know much about Tony Horton, he’s the P90x guy I think. But he also has a series called 10 minute trainer. I think it’s an introductory series to prepare people to do the p90x. It is also mercifully quick…as the name implies, it’s a series of workouts that are only 10 minutes each! When I was lamenting my being booted a few years back, a friend gave me a copy of his 10 minute trainer series, and it was a great way to get a workout in while wearing a boot, and included plently of low impact exercises. I recently dug out the DVDs and decided to follow their accelerated results plan. It is 4 weeks long, which coincides with the 4 week DietBet (and I so love symetry!). I started on Monday.

Turn 10 easy minutes in to a soul-torturing 30!

I typically have been doing these in the evenings (I say typically – I mean the first two days!). It’s been rather difficult because the evenings are more for letting my brain turn in to mush and watching mindless television…or at least listening to mindless television while I run around the house after a 14 month old tornado creature.

Did I mention my daughter is insane?!

Seriously. If she is awake she is moving. Her new fascination is climbing…the couch, the chairs, the dog, the walls…

So, working out in the evenings is pretty difficult for me. So this morning as Brad woke up early to go to work, I talked myself into rolling out of bed (I’m NOT a morning person) and doing my daily torture 10 minute trainer session. Which as I mentioned…becomes 30 minutes with the accelerated chart thingy there.

So this is about the time that I should also mention that as I went to the restroom before starting the workout, I also noticed that mother nature was sending me her monthly cruelty as well.

But, I’m a soldier, and I ate horribly last night (not too bad, but not on plan…at least now I can explain the insane craving/moment of weakness!)…so I’m still going to jump around my living room like an idiot (quietly, the baby is still asleep!) and do this thing!

This is where Tony Horton comes in. I like his videos alright, they are very simple to follow, they don’t do overly complicated and hard to follow moves, and he’s kind of a goober, which is usually somewhat endearing.

Except for at 6:30am…when I’m on my period.

Ugh. Tony. You and your scantily clad, perfectly tiny, obviously-not-on-her-period girl need to go away. Come back in 4 to 7 days.

But I stuck with Tony and ugh girl through my three 10 minute lapses in sanity. It was much harder than it was the first two days! But I have the satisfaction of knowing the workout is done for the day and I can now bleed in peace. Ugh.

On the happy note, 18 years ago today Brad and I started dating. Today is our date-aversary! We don’t usually do anything special for today, but we actually have a baby-sitter in waiting and are going to see (wait for it…) a movie! We so rarely get to experience the wonder of moving pictures on a screen without pausing every 10 minutes to wrangle a child…and in an honest to goodness movie house no less! 😉

What about you? Any go-to workout DVD’s that you like?