Today at my weekly sanity check (counseling), it was nice to get a lot of things out and off my chest. I won’t go in to details here, because it’s not only my story to share, but suffice it to say it was just another step in this crazy road of trying to figure out who exactly I am now and who I want to be.
I never thought my life would be starting over at 33…I never thought that I would be staring down a fork in the road where one trail leads to divorce and one leads to…well, not much of a marriage I guess, and trying to make a choice.
All that to say, afterwards, I scarfed down some sushi (always a treat and a reward after being declared sane for another week!), and this song kept playing in my head. Apparently it’s nearly 4 years old or so, but I had never heard it until the other day at Zumba. Long story short, the class is taught at a Christian university, so several of the songs are Christian-based, which I rather enjoy. Anyway, when this song played the other day…I literally had to keep from crying right there in class. It’s definitely a mixture of happy and sad tears. I am mournful of some of the things that I feel I’ve lost…and of what I thought of as future certainties that Reagan may be losing…but also fearfully excited of the woman I think I will become as a result.
So anyway, yeah. This.